LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Work getting in the way

So this morning I opened my eyes and went to get out of bed to go for my walk knowing i still had like 6 hours before I had to be at work...WRONG. I very quickly noticed that there were 2 phone calls with 2 voice mails from work. Being the idiot I can be, I listened to them and they were desperately trying to get a nurse into work because one had called in sick (we only ever have 3 for 92 people!), so of course, thinking of my awesome co-workers, phone back and say I'll be there ASAP. So I started getting ready. No walk for me, super long shift instead. Damn work getting in the way of my goals. However, I'm not going to count this as a failure because I was perfectly prepared and was on my way to go for a walk...so....I'll just extend my goal by another day.

Also...I may end up going with my dad on Thursday to the hospital. He's going to have a scope of his stomach and esophagus done (he's struggled with chronic acid reflux for a loooong time now). Soooo Grace, I just may be in Cranbrook on The 4th...I'll letcha know when I decide. For those of you who don't know Grace, she's a super sweet, adorable girl that lives about 3 hours away from me, and I'm hoping that we may actually get to meet! Check out her blog at http://wannabeformerfatgirl.blogspot.com/

Ciao for now, I gotta get to work!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

A Very Long (And Painful) 2kms

So I woke up this morning to very sore muscles. I didn't think it was that bad...then I stood up and realized that my legs weighed 600 lbs each, somebody ripped my arms out of their sockets and an elephant trampled on my chest! I was sooo grateful that today was Saturday and it was a niiice quiet day at work. I spent my day praying that nobody would fall cuz I knew I wouldn't have the strength to pick them up. But a nice quiet day it was (until the last half hour, but that's just the way it goes in nursing). I came home and did not feel like doing a damn thing. Soooo Subway for dinner it was. Oh and just so everybody knows, Baked Lays Creamy Dill is to die for. 130 calories, 3g fat and 1g fibre for one bag...sodium content ain't bad either.

Chris left for work and here I was all alone. I began rationalizing that I didn't need to go for a walk tonight because my body obviously needed a rest otherwise it wouldn't be in so much pain (and I swear if I hear "no pain no gain" from 1 more person I'm gonna punch them in the ear). However, I also know that some light exercise would get those muscles loosening up and I would feel better. Soooo...after an hour of procrastinating I went for a walk. I didn't push it, I just walked briskly. Took me about a half an hour to do 2kms. And I really do feel better (well my lower half does, the rest of me still feels like I got hit by a bus carrying an entire hockey team and their gear). So this leads me to my question of the day:

What do you ladies do when you feel sore and stiff after a workout (besides toughing it out and gentle exercise which I've done)? I don't like to take meds if I don't have to (yes I'm a nurse who believes the less meds the better!). I do plan on soaking in a very very hot bath in a few minutes as well...after I fold the 2 tons of laundry I've been putting off and carry it upstairs.

I do have a confession to make. My whole life I've been "the strong one". I can hold it together when everything is falling apart. Most of the time. Last night as I was laying on the floor and Jillian was telling me to push through the pain and not give up, I had a small breakdown. I wanted to know why it was so hard and why I couldn't just wake up and be thinner and healthier and then the negative self talk started "I'm always gonna be fat, this is pointless". The difference was how I dealt with this breakdown. I snapped out of it and carried on with my work out rather than drowning my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream or a bag of chips (which is what I liked to do when I was dealing with stress...is it any surprise that I gained a lot of weight while I was doing my Bachelor's degree?). Instead of raiding the cupboards, I typed a blog post. Yes it was a short one, but it was enough to remind me why I was doing this. It isn't for the hot body, it's for the health, for the ability to do the things that I can't right now, to be free. It reminded me that I'm not in this alone. There are my fellow bloggers that read these posts and provide encouragement, support and love. There is Chris, who loves me more than anything and never ceases to show me just how much (the man is working two 12-hour overtime shifts this week so that he can buy me my big fancy camera that I have wanted forever for when I lose my first 20 lbs. If that ain't love, I don't know what is). There is my family whom I love very much. My parents, especially my mom, is so supportive. I just truly hope she knows how much I love her. I think she does...I hope so.

I'm not in this thing alone. I have a ton of people that want to see me succeed. And I will. And I want all of you to know that I'm here for all of you should you stumble and need a helping hand.

On that note...Until next time!

xoxo

Friday, July 29, 2011

Shred = Dead...OW

Jillian Michaels is EVIL!!! Today I worked an 8 hour shift, walked 2 kms, and did my first 30 day shred workout and...OWW! I definitely don't think I can do both a 2km walk along with the 30 day shred unless I separate them by a few hours. I basically got home from my walk and went to do the workout...not smart. Ugh...enough bitching for now.

I made home made pizza for supper tonight. Whole wheat pita as crust, very little cheese, and lots of veggies.

I don't have a lot to say tonight...Hope everybody is doing well.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Why Do I Underestimate myself?

So, as those of you who have been following me for a while know, I have been setting goals for myself when it comes to walking up the 2km long hill by my house. My latest goal was to make it to the very top of it without having to stop to catch my breath, and I gave myself a month to do so (that month would have been on August 19th). I did just that today which was 9 days from the day I set that goal. I should be really happy about that but I'm actually kinda disappointed in myself. Not because of taking 9 days to achieve my goal, that's fantastic and I'm soooo thrilled, but because I constantly underestimate my abilities and myself. Why? Why do I do that? Is it so that I don't fail? or because I truly feel like I can't do it and that if I give myself a long time to do something it seems like it's really hard so if I do fail it's like "oh well it was hard, that's why I gave myself a whole month, guess I needed more time". I'm feel like it's another excuse and that's really not ok with me. I guess it's because I've failed so many times at this weight loss thing that I'm afraid to actually push myself to succeed. But all that is changing right now. I am going to push myself and if that means I don't meet a goal timeline, that's ok. At least I'll know that I did everything in my power to make that goal. Not that I just went along and just happened to succeed.

Ok now it's time to celebrate. I kicked the shit out of that goddamn hill! I made it my bitch! WOOOO!!!! I'm gonna keep walking up that hill and it's going to keep getting easier and easier. And now that I know I can go without stopping, I'm going to start timing myself and shaving time off the walk. I wish I had a walking buddy for the days that Chris is working nights and the days I'm working evenings. I really need to start walking on the days that I work evenings too...maybe not 4kms but at least 1-2kms. Perhaps that'll be my goal for this next week. Yes! My goal is that I will walk every single day for the next week. It's going to suuuuuck cuz I work 6 of the next 7 days but I'm going to do it :)

Today I went to Walmart for shampoo, tortillas and shoelaces...Well $50 later....In addition to my shampoo, tortillas and shoelaces I got some decorative towels for 2 of my bathrooms, Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD, and some hand weights. Sooo now I guess I'm adding the real Jillian in with my live in Jillian. I think that I'll add her in on the days that I do a short walk, and the day I do a long walk I'll just do stretching and maybe some yoga (guess I need to get a yoga DVD too!). Thoughts?

So there have been a couple additions to my blog. I have done a 30 by 30 list as well as a 155 reason list. Both can be found in tabs at the top of the home page of my blog. Also in the tabs is a recipes section and a photos section. The only recipe that is in there is one that I have already blogged for oven fries but as I come across more favorites I will add them. I will be posting my first set of photos tonight as well so look for those. I gotta say I really hate those pictures. I did not realise my belly was that big. Guess that's what happens when you don't have full length mirrors in your house huh?

Anyways...Check out the additions to my blog!!!

Until next time!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

2nd Post Today

So Chris came home from work and we made supper. I definitely shouldn't have eaten as much as I have but nothing was unhealthy per say. We had BBQ steak, corn on the cob, a baked potato and grilled asparagus with fresh squeezed lemon juice on top (and I don't put butter or salt on anything...just good ol' fashioned medium heat salsa on my tater...yummy). Really the only thing I should scale back is the portion of steak but I LOVE STEAK!!! and maybe having 1/2 of a baked tater and 1/2 a corn on the cob. Ah well.

The reason I'm posting a second time is because after supper Chris and I set out for a walk. Now at this point I should tell everybody that where I live is basically on the side of a mountain. So no matter where you walk, there is going to be uphill but this one wasn't too bad. There were plenty of places to recover from any long uphills. This walk was only about 1 and a half kms (bringing today's graaaaaand total to 5.5kms!!!). This second walk is going to be an excellent run once I finally get to the point where I can run that far. That's exciiiiiting. I can't believe I'm planning a RUN. 2 months ago I wouldn't have even thought of thinking about doing a run (if that makes sense?).

Tomorrow I'm going to post "before" pictures of me and my plan is to post new pictures with every 10 lbs lost. The only reason I'm not doing them today is that I didn't do my hair or put on any makeup after my shower this morning and...well when a girl doesn't feel good about her body she does everything she can to make sure she feels good about something. Soooo...Look for those tomorrow.

Now along with this healthy eating bit comes drinking a lot of water. I mean a LOT a lot. And how booooring is water. No taste at all. So how stoked was I to find fizzy lemonade that is only 2 calories per bottle, no sodium, AND no artificial sweeteners. Well I'm sure you all know the answer to that. It is called Cascade Ice (there are other flavors too, the strawberry lemonade is alright but not my fave and the mango orange is yummy too. Haven't tried the other 2 flavors they have, and cant even really remember what they are cuz I know I wouldn't like them). I got this wonderful little ray of sunshine in an otherwise boring life of bottled water at Save-On Foods (I don't know where these stores are/are not...I think it might only be a BC thing...) but I highly reccomend you guys keep an eye out for them. Yummy on a hot summer day or for a treat.

I am so thankful for all the wonderful comments you guys are leaving on my blog. Talk about motivation! Until tomorrow!!!

A Long Walk!

So today when I woke up I  felt shitty about the lack of exercise that has been in my life the past few days (due to bad weather and being sick) so I resolved that I was gonna walk up the hill before Chris got home from work then go for a shorter walk with him. I love our walks together. Gives us time to talk with no distractions (like the phone ringing or the latest episode of Master Chef or Hells Kitchen...yes we're both Gordon Ramsey fans). It's our time. With crazy busy lives and being on different shifts we really only get 1 full day off together so I really like to take advantage of the time we do have together.

Anyways, I digress, the weather here today is partly cloudy, 21 degrees (Celsius) with only 56% humidity and a nice light breeze. So of course I thought that going for a 4 km walk wouldn't be too bad. Well I was sweatin' like crazy by the time I got to the very top of the hill. Not a bad thing mind you. I just wasn't expecting it. I only stopped ONCE for 30 seconds to catch my breath between my house and the bridge, then I stopped at the bridge for a good 2-3 minutes just to cool off because I was getting drippy. I don't know if I mentioned this but the part of the hill between the bridge and the top of the hill makes the whole rest of the entire hill look like a walk in the park. I feel like a mountain goat going up that last 400 m but did I stop?? NOPE I DIDN'T! So if I were to really push myself I definitely could make it up that hill without stopping! Hmmm maybe tomorrow! Yes I may slow right down but the goal is to just keep those feet moving. Here is a photo with my feet in the dirt at the very top of the hill (I make sure to actually step off the pavement so that nobody can dispute making it to the very top...I mean, there's no more road!


Feet after a 2km uphill walk, yes I have fat ankles...hopefully for not much longer
As you may notice I'm not wearing my Reebok Easytones. I have decided that I'm going to wear them to work for a few days to try and get them broken in a little bit before attempting to wear them while walking up the hill. Also, just a short walk wearing them makes my legs feel like they're on fire so I don't think I'd make it up that far wearing them. So that's definitely another goal for another day. For now I just want to beat my goal of no stopping while walking to the top then I'll start adding more elements of difficulty, along with distance.

I have also started a food journal. I'm pretty good at knowing what I've eaten and when I ate it along with keeping my portions to the proper amounts but I figure, why the hell not. May as well keep track of everything I eat along with my exercise so that way when I see the results I want on the scale I can look back and see what I did right, and when I see those results that I don't want, I can still look back and see what I need to improve on. My difficulty is going to be when I'm working. Over the month of August I have something stupid like 9 days off...What in the world did I do to myself!? *sigh* Oh well.

Last but not least, I want to thank all my wonderful blog followers for their kind words, helpful advice and for just bein' you. I feel like I have a nice extended family who are all helping me push through and succeed. You all help keep me accountable and ensure I pull my own weight in this whole weight loss thing (and at my weight that's hard work! HAHA). You guys are all awesome!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A Short Walk

So today's walk was a very short one due to the impending storm that is currently settling in right over top of my house. It was good though cuz I have realized that this exercise thing is getting easier for me. Yes I still get out of breath but it's not as quick as before and I recover a whole lot faster. I also am able to push through it because I'm not AS out of breath as before. Yay. So, I'm looking for thing's I can do around the house for exercise. I'm not fortunate enough to have exercise equipment in my house nor can I afford to go to the gym...Yes I do the housewife workout once a week but I want something more...Suggestions welcome here.

I also would loooove some recipes if you have em (especially for chicken). Chris is a bit of a picky eater and so am I so we seem to be kinda stuck in a rut. We tried something a little different today but everything seems to have a salad side. I'm feeling lucky as I am not CRAVING anything really. I just wanna switch it up a bit.

Any and all help would be appreciated!!

Monday, July 25, 2011

New Shoes and Bad Weather

Hi all! So this post is going to be mostly positive (a change for how crummy I've been feeling). I'm feeling so much better. I haven't had a single bout of nausea today. Thank goodness, it was getting old fast. I have been able to actually eat today without forcing myself. And we've had a great day today. My parents came over to visit and took us out shopping. She bought us a ton of veggies because we were nearly completely out (and she knows that eating healthy is very expensive and we're on a rather tight budget) and the kiddo got a tricycle, which she absolutely loves and rides in the basement.

She also bought me a scale...to which I have mixed feelings about. I guess it's really good to know where I'm at and where I need to go. However, it was a little disheartening. The number on the scale was MUCH higher than I expected. When I was weighed for my life insurance the scale that the nurse used said 298 lbs. Since then I know for a fact I haven't gained any weight (seeing as how clothes are fitting loser and pants that I couldn't even wear before fit just right now), but today the scale said I had gained like 18lbs leaving me at 315.9 lbs...IMPOSSIBLE. I'm thinking that the nurses scale was way off. But oh well. No use in dwelling on a number that the scale said today. Just have to work my ass off to bring it down to my goal weight of 160 lbs.

I have added a weight loss ticker to my blog so I can track my progress on here in a fun way :) I plan on doing weigh ins on my first day off every week (seeing as how I work an 8 day rotation, it will change). And hopefully I remember which day is my first day off this next month and a half because I'm working so much overtime! *think of the paychecks, Taryn, think of the paychecks*

I also got my new shoes (Reebok Easytones) today!!!! They were sitting on our front porch when my parents went to leave. So I strapped them puppies on this evening and we went for a walk as a family. We walked half way up the hill to the creek and let me tell you, from my ass to my ankles was absolutely on fire. Now this wasn't a problem wearing normal running shoes so yes I can see how they would tone your calves, hamstrings and glutes! They feel a little funny to wear cuz basically you're standing on 4 balance balls (2 on each foot). This is supposed to throw you off balance and force your muscles to compensate. They do! They are also comfortable. Like every shoe they need to be broken in but that shouldn't take long. I'm honestly considering getting another pair to wear at work!

So we had 2 days of beautiful weather...and unfortunately I was sick both days. Now that I'm feeling better it's rainy and muggy out. Perfect. Thank you mother nature.
I hope everybody's weekend was fabulous!!!

Until next time xoxo

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Wondering..

I'm wondering what the hell is going on with my body. The last few days I have been absolutely nauseous and ready to throw up. I have been having to force myself to eat...well anything really. Absolutely no appetite (please don't think I'm lucky because it's really NOT a good thing). Now don't be jumping to any conclusions, I am NOT pregnant and I know that for an absolute fact. The past few days I've been surviving on 700-1000 calories...I guess it's good for weight loss but I feel like crap. Is this just a normal adjustment my body is going through???

Friday, July 22, 2011

Housewife Workout

Tonight instead of going for a walk I'm going to clean the house from top to bottom. Now some of you may be wondering why I'd want to do that after a full day of work at which one of my residents just about drove me up the wall and it took everything I had to not to give myself a PRN (a sedative used on an as needed basis)! Well Chris's mom, dad, sister & sister's husband are coming over! I'm soooooooo excited! But there is something about the "mother-in-law" coming that makes you want to clean like a maniac in desperate hope that there will not be a single spec of dust she can judge you on. I love my MIL to death but the fact that she might judge me scares the bejesus out of me.

I haven't seen my SIL and her husband since Christmas. It'll be sooo nice to see them. The occasional connection through Facebook just isn't enough. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who's in-law's aren't a total nightmare (unlike poor Chris...man his inlaws are NUTS!!!!)

Other than the fact that I've had one of those days where I've felt like I was starving all day (Hmmm could this have anything to do with being so busy at work all I had time to eat was a salad!?) I've been feeling pretty good. As I was standing at the bathroom sink this morning, brushing my teeth, Chris said "honey you really DO look skinnier!)...I don't know if he was just exhausted from working all night and just getting home or if it's actually true! True would be nice that's for sure :)

More good news...apparently the warm weather is going to make it's way here for a few days, then cool down for a few days then it's going to be HOT for a while..YAY!

Here's hoping that everybody is going to have a wonderful, happy and overall healthy (don't forget to treat yourselves too!) weekend!

xoxo

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Rant Or Two...

Ok Nelson Hydro...I know it's summer and summer storms happen here on a regular basis but is that an excuse for the power to go out 4 nights a week!? I had to shower in the dark, make my lunch for work with a flashlight in my mouth, and nearly sliced my hand open looking for a lighter to light some candles so I could at least walk around without hurting myself! GRR!

As you may have guessed it was a shitty day here in wetter  western Canada. I know that most of Canada and the US is in the middle of a heat wave right now and all I can say is...Wouldja mind sharing some of that heat! We've had practically ZERO summer and I'm sick of it! I want some warmth and some sun to hit my glow in the dark skin.

Tonight I only did a 2km walk as it was beginning to storm and I didn't want to be caught far from home, late at night, by myself, in a storm, in grizzly bear country. The reason I was so late leaving for a walk (nearly 8pm) was because I was waiting for a friend to text me saying she was ready to go walking. She had confirmed that she wanted to go but just wanted to get her kids fed first...So when I hadn't heard from her in an hour and a half I figured I'd better get going or I wouldn't end up going at all. And I'm not afraid to admit that the thought of not going passed through my mind. But a true testament to the new life I'm living, I pushed that thought out of my head and set out on my own in none to promising weather.

Today I got some real compliments. I seen a few co-workers that I hadn't seen in a few weeks and let me tell you, hearing "oh my God you look so good!" never EVER will go out of style. Sure is a confidence boost. Now, because I don't yet own a scale, I don't know exactly how much weight I have lost but I have noticed that my clothes are fitting looser which makes me happy :)

I have ordered some new running shoes. I got reebok easytone runners hoping that their "they tone your butt, thighs and calves" slogan may actually ring true...hey a girl can can use all the help she can get right? I also have read reviews and they are apparently the most comfortable shoes that people have put on their feet. And seeing as how I got them for 50% off...Even better. If I like 'em I'm ordering a second pair. One for work and one for workouts!

Have a lovely weekend everybody! xoxo

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I Found New Ass Muscles!

Well I felt like going for a walk tonight just about as much as I would feel like jumping into a lion pit with 50 steaks strapped to me. After yesterdays accomplishment of getting to the top of the hill, I woke up this morning and I was stiff. The weird thing is is that I feel like I'm getting more fit and I haven't been stiff until today. Going from sitting to standing or vice versa has been a painful event and don't even get me started on stairs! I did all our laundry (including sheets) and in turn I had to carry everything from the upstairs down to the basement (our house is 3 stories) and back. Plus I did other "housewife workouts". Then Chris got home and I really whined and complained saying I didn't want to go, but I found myself with my runners on and off we went. Another accomplishment was that I only had to stop twice on the way to the bridge! I was stopping at least 4 times until today but Chris really pushed me tonight. He knows that I have a goal of making it up without stopping. He also knows that I have given myself a month to do it, and he says he's giving me 2 weeks...2 WEEKS!? Is he nuts! There's no way I'm that fit yet...Maybe in a month but...We'll see I guess. He's pushing me (lovingly of course).

I have also started taking alli again today. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's basically a supplement that helps block some of the fat that you take in in your diet. You can read about it here. The last time I was taking it, I did lose weight but still hadn't changed my habits so I found that I really didn't feel well while taking it because of the amount of fat it was blocking (and how that fat gets out of you of course). Now that I have changed my eating habits and actually have a fairly low fat diet, I figure that blocking what little fat I do eat might be a good thing and will give me that extra little boost I need. I have also began taking a multivitamin (one a day women's formula), as suggested by alli. We'll see how it works. Still toying with the idea of doing a cleanse as well...Hmmm...

On another note I HAVE to share this with you. Yesterday I was absolutely craving fries. What's a girl on a diet to do!? Well let me tell you what:

  • Take 1 medium potato per person, wash and cut into wedges
  • Place wedges into a bowl and toss with just enough EVOO to coat
  • Season with salt and pepper to taste (I didn't use much of either...You could also add thyme or rosemary)
  • Place wedges on a cooling rack placed over a cookie sheet (this allows the hot air to circulate around the entire fry reducing cook time, crisping it up AND allowing any excess oil to drain off)
  • Bake at 450 for about half an hour

VOILA...homemade oven fries that will satisfy any fast food craving! I served this with a extra lean burger on whole wheat and salad and it was soooo yummy! Who needs McDonalds! HA! Hope everybody else is having a good week! My work week starts again tomorrow (booooooo!), but on the up side it's only 4 days...

'Til next time fellow bloggers

xoxo

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Kickin Ass and Takin Names!!

Alright...I'm in need of ideas for a new goal seeing as how I've beat my goal yet again. Today, Chris was at work and I decided that I was gonna go for a walk all by myself. So I put my iPod on and started hauling myself up that hill. Really before I knew it (I must be getting more fit because I didn't really notice it) I was at the crest of the hill and it wasn't much after that that I was at the bridge. By then I was pretty sweaty and it was hot and sticky outside...definitely thunderstorm weather. I sat on a barricade for a couple minutes to catch my breath and give my legs a rest then I continued on and finished the hill. YAAAY! pretty much the moment I hit the top of the hill, I heard (over my iPod I might add) a huge crack of thunder and I thought "uh oh I better get home!" so I started home. well I didn't even make it back to the bridge before it was raining and I was absolutely soaked by the time I got to the crest of the hill and DRIPPING by the time I got home. Glad I didn't have a shower this morning!

When I got home I decided to clock the distance of the walk I had just completed, so I hopped in my car and *insert drum roll here* it is exactly 4kms (appx 2.5 miles for the American followers). I think I should get to tack on an extra few kms cuz half of it is up hill! HAHA.

So I will be going for another walk tonight but I'm fairly certain that I will be telling Chris it will be a flat walk..and seeing as how we live on a hill where no matter where you go you'll have to go up hills at some point we'll likely drive to get there.

Now on a separate topic I have to tell you about what we made for dinner last night! It was soooooooo yummy and you guys just have to try it. We made fajitas. Basically just boneless skinless chicken breasts cooked in EVOO with 2 full peppers and a full medium sized onion (cooked until just tender). Add a pack of reduced sodium fajita seasoning (or make your own, there are recipes on the net). I always put low fat cheese, salsa and fat free sour cream on mine just to give it that "I'm being bad" feeling. Now here's the twist, I bought 100% whole wheat tortillas for Chris, and I did have one like that BUT the other I did in lettuce leafs! Yay for ways to reduce carbs! It was the first time I've done that, and it is MUCH more messy but certainly more tasty and more figure friendly. Would definitely do it again.

So I think my next goal is going to be to make it to the top of the hill without having to stop to catch my breath. I'm gonna give myself a month to get to that point so August 19th. Following that I'm going to want to be able to start jogging up the hill. WOO.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Give Out...Not Give Up

So for those of you who have been following my blog on a regular basis, you know that I've been making my way up "youbitch" hill (I call it youbitch hill because that's the phrase that comes out of my mouth the most when struggling my way up it). I've been setting attainable goals to make my way to the top of it eventually. The most recent goal was to make it to the bridge that is 90% of the way up the hill by Wednesday. Well girls and/or boys...I exceeded my own expectations and made it there today!

Yes the sign may be holding me up at this point but I got there by myself!
I am so proud of myself that shortly after Chris took this picture I burst into tears (and they call me emotional!?) There were a few moments on my walk tonight that I thought I was NEVER going to make it up there. I was so winded, my legs hurt, I was exhausted and I wanted to give up. Unlike in my previous life, I wouldn't let myself give up! And I made it.

So now, because I have beat my goal, I now have to raise the bar. I will make it to the veeeeery top of the hill by Wednesday. I have 2 days to get there and get there I will!

So, what was my reward for getting to the bridge...Well why tell you when I can show you.




Isn't it absolutely stunning!? I feel so...HAPPY!!!!

Good(ish) Choices

So before heading to my parents yesterday I called my mom and told her that I'm trying to eat well and lose weight and she was really supportive and said she would make food that I can eat. I was like "perfect it'll be brainless and easy!"...Well that woulda been nice! I should mention that my mom just had surgery and her incision is major infected and she was NOT feeling well so others did most of the cooking. Before leaving we stopped at subway and I had a 6" chicken on 9-grain with sweet onion sauce (fat free and sooo yummy) and tons of veg. Then when we got there my mom had my most favorite dip out which she only makes for special occasions, because it is absolutely awful for you...lite mayo, lite cream cheese, shrimp, seafood sauce, green pepper, green onion, tomato and cheese...then you use tortilla chips to dip...I could not avoid temptation but am happy to report I only had 8 chips with the dip so not as horrible as before. Normally I would have parked myself next to that sucker and gorged. then we had steak, cheesy potatoes (I had a small portion), corn on the cob (without butter OR salt I may add...I find it tastes better), green salad and bread. I feel as though I did well on controlling myself. There was even cheesecake for desert and I said "no thank you"...my mom looked at me like I had 4 heads...

Activity wise we were pretty busy. We took the kiddo to the spray park and play ground where we chased her around for an hour and I also played with my pup in the back yard. We both even tested out the elliptical that my mom has said I could borrow when the weather starts to turn shitty. All in all...Not a bad day both fun wise and diet/exercise wise...Thank goodness!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Ugh..

I'm starving. All I have wanted today is a big ol' bowl of ice cream. Instead I'm eating unsalted and unbuttered popcorn...the only damn thing giving it flavor is that it's a little burnt...shit...Gnight.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Irritated

I've been getting really frustrated at work these days. I feel as though I'm the only one giving 100% and that others are leaving things that I end up doing because they HAVE to be done. I have even been called in on my days off to do paperwork that nobody can ever seem to get around to...but I do on my shifts (and yes I was paid for coming in on my day off). It's just so maddening. And then I end up doing favors for other nurses (like today I'm going in an hour early!) I gotta stop that cuz I'm just being taken advantage of. Today is the last shift of my work week and I will NOT be going in on my days off (I work 4 on 4 off).

On a different note it's going to be a beautiful weekend and I cant wait to spend 4 days outside!!! Have a great weekend everybody!

Friday, July 15, 2011

I'm "winning" as Charlie Sheen would say...

Haha, sorry 'bout the title to my post today, I'm a dork some days. Ok so I don't know how many of you girls order clothes online. For me personally I LOVE clothes and fashion and look through the magazines wishing I could wear the cute clothes I see. I also love shopping but at my size I'm limited to specialty stores OR the teeny tiny division of the department store that is clearly marked as the plus size section (I mean, why not just put a sign up that says "all the fat chicks can shop here only". So to avoid some embarrassment of being seen in the plus size section of the local stores (I live in a very small town), I do most of my shopping online...usually at old navy...or at the specialty stores when we go to bigger cities. Now, there are some annoyances that I have with this. The clothes at the specialty stores are sooooo expensive. I mean, I don't have the $$ to spend $50 on a shirt or $90 on pants (I was a student up until last year then I worked only part time for the next 6 months, then I finally got a full time position, and the cost of living in the town is high so my disposable income is small). That being said, I usually only hit up those stores once a year. When it comes to old navy I'm pretty good at gauging what size I should buy just by looking at the cut of whatever I'm buying BUT I have, on more than one occasion, ordered 2 of the same item (perhaps in separate colors, or jeans that are an awesome cut) and have them arrive fitting differently. The most recent were jeans I bought. I fell in love with everything, the cut, the wash and the fact that there was a "slimming" panel built in (that actually does work btw). So I ordered 2 pairs only for them to arrive and have one pair fit perfectly and the other being so tight that I could barely breathe let alone sit in them without feeling like I was going to be cut in half (ugh and just think of the muffin top...yuck). Well today I got up and got dressed and thought "hmmm lets see", grabbed the tight jeans and pulled them on and am oh so proud to say they fit like a glove. YAAAAAAAY. Apparently I'm doing something right ladies! Soooooo excited!

On a separate note, I'm so excited for this weekend. Chris and I along with my stepdaughter (Chris's child from a previous relationship) are going to visit my parents. I'm fairly certain that my grands and my aunt will be there as well so it's going to be a whole fam damily affair. And the best part will be the dinner. My mom will cook an amazing dinner with probably 15-20 items so I'll have plenty of choices for what I can eat. And it'll all be yummy cuz my mom is a pretty good cook. She's pretty supportive of me losing weight. She wants me to do it before I get to her age (she's in her mid 40s and has struggled with her weight her entire adult life). Plus she wants a grandchild and because I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I will likely have a difficult time becoming pregnant. Weight loss greatly improves the chances of becoming pregnant. But lets set the record straight, I am not even attempting to become pregnant right now. In fact we are doing what we can to prevent that from happening! I'm hoping to get my weight under control within the next year or so so that we can start tryin to have a little bundle of joy of our own. Chris is still unsure about whether or not he wants another child but what did he expect when he let me buy a 3 bedroom house!? Of course I'm gonna wanna put something in that 3rd bedroom! HAHA.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Possibly the worst day of my life...

OK...So today was a shitty day. It all started at 5:45..'nuff said right there. 5:45 sucks. What was I thinking when I got into nursing. I'm sooooooo not a morning person. Then I get to work and am sitting doing paperwork (boooooooring) and after sitting there for like 15 minutes, I turned around to tell one of my patients to knock it off and BANG the next thing I know I'm on the floor. The plastic on the stool broke and I fell. I wasn't hurt but how embarrassing! I know I'm not a skinny girl but I'm not that fat! So I make my way through most of my crazy busy day and then I get a phone call "Hi this is scheduling, can you work a double?" Hmmm... $60 an hour...YES I want to work a double but oh shit, I have a hair appointment that was rescheduled on me - it was supposed to be yesterday - and I need a hair cut so bad before I go away this weekend. So I turn down the shift. Then on my way home, 1/2 a block from my house, I'm behind a red truck at a stop sign, the man (who's about 900) starts to go through the intersection, I start to pull up to the stop line, he decides suddenly that he now doesn't have enough time to get through the intersection, he stops, he starts to back up, I beep my horn, he continues to back up, I think about throwing my car in reverse and backing up as well, I reach down to grab the shifter, he hits me before I get it out of drive, he then goes through the intersection and pulls over, I pull over behind him, I get out in the pouring rain to see a 3'' dent and scrape on my new (to me) car, I snap a picture of his licence plate in case he decides to take off, I tell him to follow me to my house where I can get all the info down, he follows me, I tell Chris to come outside cuz I was just hit, the guy then tries to blame the accident on ME! WHAT THE HELL! Yah buddy I willed you to be a moron and back into my new car so I have to get it fixed and shit. Idiot! The guy is a tooootal prick and is telling me that I better not insist on a new bumper etc etc etc, that it better be a cheap fix and so on and so forth (oh and that I should be responsible for 1/2!!!). Chris backs me up and is like "no no no, YOU backed into HER, it's YOUR fault so YOUR'RE paying for it and if the body shop says that they can't fix it and it needs a new bumper that's what shes getting. He's all mad and says "well I should get a picture of the damage then!" and I'm like, "here let me take care of that right now" run inside, grab my camera, and take 2 pictures of the damage. I call the insurance company and report the whole thing and am assured that it's not my fault and that it'll be taken care of (well duh). So that made me feel better but now whaaat a hassle, I have to get my car repaired, deal with the insurance company or, god forbid, that old bastard who should not be driving anymore in my opinion if he doesn't even look to see if he's going to back into anything and can't hear the horn from the car he's about to hit. Here are the pictures of my injured car :(





The only thing that hasn't gone wrong today is that I got a cute and sassy new hair cut and I absolutely love it.


So due to the pouring rain, the shitty day and it being 6:30 by the time I got home, no walk today. But I have eaten super healthy today so that mixed with the stress should be work out enough right?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ooo Photos!

Alright girls (and guys if you're readin' this) I have a couple pictures to post today that I took on my nightly walk. The first is of where we stopped the first night and where I thought I was going to die...


To get to my house you would turn where there's a car (a tiny black dot in the distance). About 2 weeks ago by the time I got to this spot I was ready to cry because I was so out of breath and my legs were on fire. The next picture is where I stopped today (I worked all day and I was tired but I have gone even farther!) and all I needed was ONE short stop to catch my breath.




Not sure if you can see the white truck that was in the first picture.

I'm so proud that I'm making progress every day. I have also eaten pretty well today. I had a Slimfast shake for breakfast, fruit and yogurt for a snack, a salad and a sandwich on whole wheat bread for lunch...Theeeeeeen it all fell to hell when I got home as Chris was making dinner for before he had to leave for work...so I had hamburger helper with him. Oops. Oh well. Tomorrow's another day!

So I guess the moral of this story is: If I can do it and make progress and get more fit with every day that goes by, so can you :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

"You took on so much extra tonight...I'm so proud of you"

As you may be able to tell by the title of my blog I kicked ass on my walk tonight. Both last night and tonight I have made it to the crest of the hill and tonight after I got there and caught my breath I dragged Chris along farther up the hill. I'm getting so close to actually attempting to make it to the bridge. Perhaps I'll even beat my deadline! However, the next 2 days I won't have Chris because he'll be on night shift so I'm on my own. And I will not be heading up too far on my own because there's a major grizzly bear population around my house...and strange as it might sound...I really don't want to run into a mama grizzly on my own...I'm hoping Chris would offer himself up as food and let me get away...but I dont know how likely that is haha.

On a seperate note, today I got my first followers and I was soooooooo excited!!! So thanks so much you guys! I am so excited for you to come along on this journey with me while I come along on yours with you!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The good news...

So today is Sunday and was the deadline for walking up that hill. Now before I get on to the story I have to dish out the bad news first. My Jillian went for a walk the other night while I was at work and walked up the hill. When I was at work I got a text that I really did not like! The jist of it was that he had walked up to what we thought (thought being the operative word in this sentence) was the top of the hill. He quickly realized that this was not the case and that it was just a crest then a corner and the hill continued. He explored and realized that the hill goes on for a LOT longer...DAMNIT! Today after spending over $100 on nothing but healthy food (and Mike 'N Ikes for the man who's quitting smoking :) I'm so proud), we decided to take a drive up to see just how far it goes up. Well...Lets just say that I'm going to be heard whining on this hill on a nightly basis for a while now...the end of the road is probably at least 2 kms away from my house (so it'll be an approximate 4 km walk...50% of it being up hill...). CRAAAAAAAAAAAP...Ok so on to the good news. When we finally realized that the top of the hill wasn't actually the top of the hill the goal then became to reach what we THOUGHT was the top of the hill by Sunday. And reach it we did. After only a couple short stops to catch my breath we made it. I stopped, my man told me how proud he was of me, I grinned from ear to ear being proud of myself then I looked at him and said....lets keep going! And we did. We walked a little farther before finally turning around and making our way home. All in all it was about a 30 minute walk and I am feeling so proud of myself. I can do things that I set my mind to. Now time to announce the newest short term goal. I'm giving myself until Wednesday the 20th to make it to the bridge on that road which is probably 90% of the way up. Chris is sitting next to me saying "if you make it to that bridge you may as well suck it up and finish the hill" to which I gave him the stare of death...We'll see. Hahaha. 'Til next time!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Inspiration

I found this picture on the net this morning and it made me smile. It's very true. Unless I go for a walk at 11pm tonight when I get off work (which I may just do) I won't be going for a walk today simply because it's already quite hot out and I work at 3pm. Hmmm what could I do instead? I gotta figure out a way to trick my mother into her giving me her elliptical seeing as how it just gathers dust at her house anyways!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Still goin'

So today I waited a little later to go for a walk as it was hotter than the surface of the sun outside. There was only one thing I didn't consider...MOSQUITOES...I hate mosquitoes. Anyways, I only went 1/2 way up the hill today because a previous injury in my foot was acting up (and my calves were on FIRE). But I didn't let being exhausted and sore stop me from actually getting out there and accomplishing what I wanted to do. In my previous way of life I woulda just said "screw it" and stayed home. But not anymore. I'm a changed girl and I'm going to accomplish my goals. I want to be proud of myself and I want my boyfriend to be proud of me (even though I know he would be either way). He loves me so much. I truly am lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Gettin' closer!

So today I didn't have my Jillian (he was at work) but I still managed to get my butt in gear and go for a walk. I decided I wanted to walk up that hill again...for some reason. I got to the point that my boyfriend and I walked to last night and suffered the same burning and hyperventilation I did yesterday...I stopped for a moment to take a few breaths and went to turn around, but then I thought "if I only go as far as I did yesterday, where's the improvement?". The entire idea of this was to push myself and push I did. Instead of turning back i stared that hill in the proverbial face and took that next step, and the next, and the next and before I knew it (ok ok I knew EXACTLY how long it took cuz I felt every single burn in my leg muscles) I was 3/4 of the way up!!! I couldn't believe it! I was soooo proud of myself. I pulled out my phone and sent my man a text saying "Ok. I went like 3/4 of the way up" to which he responded "past the second pile!?" which was our marker for how far up the hill we walked yesterday. And when I told him that yes I went farther than yesterday he sent me this text "holy shit sweetie! Way to go I'm so proud of you". Made me smile. I love him so much. He is so supportive and he truly loves me no matter what. He truly is a girl's dream come true. And he's all mine!

I will have that hill conquered by Sunday!

Monday, July 4, 2011

The first step...

Today I'm taking the first step in a long journey to becoming healthy and, in turn, skinnier. All in all I have a pretty good life. I have an awesome family, a great career and my boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I still feel as though there's something "wrong" for lack of a better word. I am unable to do the things my friends do like hike in the mountains that surround my town and take in the beautiful scenery (and in the process take part in another interest I have...photography). But all that is about to change. Recently I've had a couple wake up calls. My boyfriends dad (who to me seemed like a pretty healthy guy), underwent bypass surgery and my life insurance that I bought to protect my mortgage in the unfortunate event of untimely demise ended up costing me nearly 3 times what it should because of my build. I need to make a change and that change started today.

Along with diet changes that we've already started making but will continue to improve on, my boyfriend and I have started exercising. My boyfriend jokingly says he's going to be my Jillian (from the biggest loser) and definitely won't be a softie like Bob (also from the biggest loser). This evening we went for a walk together and standing at the bottom of the hill we were about to walk up I dreaded it, knowing the back of my legs and ass were going to burn and I was going to be hyperventilating...and it was still fairly hot out! My boyfriend set a goal of making it up to a dirt pile (about 1/2 way up a fairly steep and LONG hill)...and I pouted. But I made it!!! Yes my legs and ass were burning and I was hyperventilating but I did it! As we turned around to head back down I felt proud of myself, but also a little disappointed...How did I let myself get like this? Why is it so hard for me to walk up a hill? Why did I make the choices I have for the last how ever many years I have been making my own decisions? But there's nothing I can do about the past now...I can only go forward. So...I am proud of myself and my boyfriend says he is too!

So now I guess it's time to mention the goals...I plan on doing short term goals (a way of keeping myself motivated) as well as having long term goals. My first short term goal is to make it to the top of that damn hill!! Yes that may seem insignificant to most but I will be so proud of myself once I get there! And the first long term goal is to lose 40 lbs (the amount that my insurance company said I needed to lose to decrease my payment back to the normal amount). And once I get down that 40 lbs...VEGAS BABY!!!! My boyfriend and I will be jetting off to Las Vegas for a fun filled (and much needed) vacation.

My plan is to post progress pictures along with other photos taken along my walks (and eventually runs?), inspiring phrases/songs/pictures/etc and anything else that is relevant to my life. Thanks for comin' along for the ride!