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LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Hurts So Good


Today I went to the gym with my friend Jay. She's super into nutrition and working out so she took me around the weight room and showed me the ropes. I'd been in weight rooms before but they've always kinda intimidated me. Today was really no different. Even though I have a pretty strong lower half, I have the upper body strength of a kitten. Jay pushed me really hard and right now I feel like my arms are made of wet noodles.

We started out on the treadmill for 20 minutes, then moved into the weight room where we did chest, back, triceps, biceps, quads, hamstrings and shoulders...OUCH. I just may not be able to move tomorrow.

I weighed in on Monday instead of Sunday because I had a CPR course I had to do all day on Sunday that I completely forgot about. Let me tell you that a 6 hour course involves a lot of work when you're being re-certified in CPR. Anyways, when I weighed in, I came in at 293.0, a 6lb loss over when I weighed before I began counting calories again. Not too shabby at all. Now if I can only keep consistently dropping weight and no surprise gains like the one that completely threw me for a loop. I'd prefer that that not happen again thank you very much.

The holiday season has only just begun and I'm already stressed about it. I'm just hoping for the strength to get through it without completely losing my mind. We'll see how it goes!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The First Few Days Back

So I've been back at this for a few days now and there's only one word to sum up how it's been: miserable. I'm starving all the time (I know this will go away once my body gets used to the reduction in calories) and that feeling is driving me nuts. I've been tweaking here and there and so far so good. I've stayed on track! I've found it really helpful to have a friend who's always willing to text me and go to the gym with me (which we still have yet to do but have plans for it Tuesday!) and is wonderfully supportive. You all are awesome, but it's different when you can actually talk to somebody at any time.

I've had a hellish couple days at work. I'm tired, I'm getting burned out, and I'm just not loving my job this week. Thank goodness I'm on holidays next week so I have 12 glorious days off! However, there is a lot of things to get done while I'm off. I have to go to a CPR course tomorrow, we need to "fall clean" our house (which includes organizing the basement...a task I am not looking forward to), we need to decorate for Christmas, go Christmas shopping, doggy sit my in-laws dog, and much more. Plus we have the child the entire time because her mom is away for work. We all know that cleaning with an almost 4 year old is kinda like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. I'm not sure that this vacation will be all that restful...but it will be nice to be away from work for a while.

Today is the first day of December, and I really cannot believe it! Where in the world does time go! It feels as though summer just ended...perhaps that's because we didn't really get summer here until mid July but it lasted through to the end of September/early October. Although, I have to admit that this year has been MUCH better than last. This time last year we were buried under almost 2 feet of snow...and although we had snow, it's pretty much all melted now and I can see green grass! As long as there's snow on Christmas day.

This time of year is busy for everybody. Have you made a list of things to get done? And where do your weight loss and fitness goals fit in?

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

I bet you all thought you'd never hear from me again. Well...I'm glad to inform you that you're wrong! I have had a pretty busy past few months. The last you heard from me I was working 2 jobs, and not really managing it well. I was either working, sleeping, or spending time with my family. I didn't have much time for health and fitness...or should I say, I didn't make time for health and fitness. Well...my waistline, but not necessarily my wallet, is happy to report that my second job has come to an end. The infant I was working with no longer qualifies for the program so her funding was cut. It's sad because her family really does need the help, but there's nothing I can do about it. And that's frustrating. But, now I have the time to focus on myself. I guess it's kinda bittersweet because I really enjoyed that job and I fell in love with that baby. I've always been able to keep my feelings in check when I work, but leaving the home, for the final time, was soooo sad. I didn't think it'd be that hard.

Today was the first day back counting calories. I'm clocking in at 1412 calories today. I may still have a 100 calorie bag of popcorn...I may just go to bed because I'm absolutely freezing to death. Winter has arrived here and there's white stuff in my backyard (better than the mud pit that it was!) so all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and eat soup and drink tea...which is what I'm doing while I write this post. I absolutely love that there are soups out there that are 70-100 calories per serving because it's what I live on in the winter time.

I've been toying with the idea of joining weight watchers. I have been a member before, but I did it online and didn't like that. I think I need the accountability of going to a meeting and having the materials in my hands and sitting on my counter rather than tucked neatly away on a website that I just ignore. I also have a few friends who are trying to lose weight and we're all going to start going to the gym together, so I'll be getting myself a gym membership here soon.

So let's get to the nitty gritty here. I weighed myself the other day in at 299...I swear to all that is holy somebody was looking down on me there. If I would have seen a 3 as the first number I probably would have lost my damn mind. I swore that I would never be in the 300's again. Damn close to being though, close enough to kick my ass into gear. So I will be weighing in as my official "restart weight" on December 2nd. I'm going to get back to daily (or close to it) blogging now.

December 2nd also marks the first day of my holidays!!! I know that holidays are usually harder on the diet, but I'm determined to work hard, eat right and lose weight. Wish me luck. I've proven that I need it!

I've noticed that I have some new followers, you poor dears! I haven't been around in a very long time. But hopefully it gave you time to catch up on my story. So welcome to all the new followers and welcome back to the old ones!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I Got The Night Shaft

I really love my job working with the infant I work with...but the nights are killing me. I feel like complete and utter shit following them...and I have 2 this week! I worked last night and will be working again tonight. Then tomorrow I will sleep for a couple hours, get up, either go for a walk with Harley or go on the treadmill then head to the grocery store to get veggies and my new favourite salad. Then I'll come home and roast off some chicken breasts, chop them up and portion them for the week (for my salads). Then it's back to my regular 4 shifts with my oldies...and to top it off...I'm on call on Saturday and Sunday. UGH!!!! I have to remember my goals to get through this next little bit and I think writing them down will help to keep me sane and focused. So here they are for you all to see. These are my 2 main goals to achieve by December.

1) Lose 35lbs (this will allow me to call the life insurance company and tell them to start the clock to count down the 1 year until my premiums will be reduced)
2) Pay off $3000 in debt

I actually slept fairly well after night shift today. I usually am awake by 11:30-12 then will go for a nap from about 5-9:30 but today I slept until about 2:30! I'm still going to try to nap but I probably wont go until about  7 or so. At least I'll get to have dinner with Chris. Just seems with me working so much, and the way our shifts line up, we never see each other any more. Our 3 year anniversary is coming up (in exactly 4 weeks!) and I really want to do something special for us...but he's just getting off night shift and will sleep until I wake him up when I start getting ready to head to work...I know we'll do something but we will likely wait until October or so...but I'd really like to surprise him with something that day...I just don't know what yet...Suggestions welcome.

I have some good news! After 3 and a half weeks of looking at an excavator in my back yard....they finally came back and did the work they were supposed to do. It was feeling as though it was never going to happen. Am I the only one who has the thinking of "finish one project before starting another?"...apparently this contractor doesn't have that philosophy. But any ways, here are some photos of what my backyard looked like before, during and currently:
We put the shed up here to give us a little bit of privacy due to the walkway that runs along our backyard. See the rocks that the contractor used to line the property rather than paying to haul them away...Ugly right?
Yes I know it's not cool to show pictures of snow in August, but this is the only one I had showing this angle of the property...More ugly rocks that take up about 1/4 of the area of our backyard...and with a tiny backyard that's a lot
My poor backyard being dug up to fix the problem that was causing my neighbour's basement to flood
No more rocks! Looks bigger already! The shed was temporarily taken down and it will be moved to a different spot in the yard in preparation for an allen block retaining wall, a fence, and a paving stone patio
It's a hot mess right now but come next spring it'll be GORGEOUS! The fence will be right against the side walk, so our property will expand even a little more.
I absolutely cannot wait to have a space back there that is private (meaning my neighbour's disrespectful children can't use it as a playground and her dog can't use it as a toilet), pretty, relaxing and FINISHED! It'll also be nice to have a fenced area for Harley and the kiddo to play outside in without worrying about them being able to wander off. Not to mention the increase in our property value will be nice! I will definitely be getting some workouts back there because we're going to be a lot of the work ourselves. In the next week or so we're going to start digging out the patio...my muscles hurt at the thought of it already...No pain no gain!


Monday, August 13, 2012

August 12th Weigh In

This is the first weigh in since I've been back on track, counting calories, and basically being serious about weight loss again. I have felt really good this past week and cannot wait to continue on this journey.

I have had a very very busy week...ending off with a double shift at work. After being at work for 15 hours, my feet, hips, and back were crazy sore. Definitely proved to me, yet again, that I have a long way to go. Being on my feet for that long was so hard on my body. I think it would be hard on anybody's body but I could barely get in the car at the end of it! When I got home, I managed to stay awake long enough to watch 1 show with Chris, but I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow! I never sleep in my lounge clothes (sweats and a long sleeved shirt usually, I always change into shorts and a tank top because sleeping with Chris is like sleeping with a furnace!), but I fell asleep as I was and didn't wake up until morning.

Yesterday, we ended up taking the kiddo to not one, but two parks. At the first one she played on the swings for a bit then we took a little walk to the viewpoint there. I've lived in this town for over 2 years and have visited it on a regular basis for most of my life, but I'd never seen it from this vantage point. It was beautiful! It was a hot day, but absolutely gorgeous!

How lucky am I to live here?

My two loves
After this we were all pretty hot so after a quick pit stop at the candy store, we went to a different park that had a spray park that the kid could play in and a lot of shade that Chris and I could hide in. I thought for sure the kid would want to play in the water more, but she ended up wanting to play on the playground with a bunch of kids that were there. She had a blast and we spend the entire afternoon outside. Next time, I definitely need to remember my camera so I can get better quality pictures than what my cellphone takes.

Anyways, I guess I should report my weigh in rather than keeping you in suspense (or was that my plan all along?!). I weighed in yesterday at 287.3 which is a 4.5lb loss this week! 4.5 lbs in a week...I haven't done that in so very very long. I guess you all were on to something with this calorie counting business!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Girl's Night

We've all been there...girl's (or boy's night). The calorie laden, food fest with our nearest and dearest. While fun and something that is needed on occasion, it's definitely not diet friendly. Tonight my friend Jade came over. Her fiance and Chris are good friends (have been since kindergarten or something crazy like that) and they both work at the same place, on the same shift. Since the boys were at work and Jade and I were left to fend for ourselves for entertainment, we decided to get together.

Jade texted me this evening asking if I wanted to hang out and watch a movie. That sounded lovely. Relaxing on the couch with snacks and girl talk. Now before you scream at your computer screen "but Taryn, you've just gotten back on track! Don't blow it!"...RELAAAAAAAAAAAX. I didn't! I suggested that first we take Harley for a walk seeing as how he'd been driving me nuts since I got home from work (there is a fly in our house that we can't catch, and he's been chasing it all day). Seeing as how she's on a weight loss journey of her own before her wedding, she was up for it. We did a 2.5km walk before settling on the couch with our 100 calorie bags of popcorn and Diet Pepsi to watch Bridesmaids.

I also made the most yummy and calorie smart dinner. I made up a quick stirfry but was too damn lazy to make the rice so for 402 calories I had a plate full of chicken, onion, garlic, asparagus, red pepper, celery and snow peas cooked in EVOO and seasoned with salt, pepper and cayenne. Now, I must admit...I didn't miss the rice at all and I saved a bunch of calories. It was weird to have that mentality of "meh, screw it, it's not a big deal" but it felt good.

I have set myself up for success tomorrow by placing my workout clothes in the spare bathroom. Chris gets off work at 6am so I'll most definitely be awake before him, and seeing as how I wont be able to shower without waking him, I pretty much have nothing else to do...unless you count sitting on my butt or tidying the house...so I may as well work out.

I'm beginning to get the hang of the calorie counting. It's still a pain in the ass but it's doable. I still feel like I'm constantly thinking about food and I have to talk myself out of saving all my calories for supper so I can have something I know I shouldn't be eating. I've been doing fairly well at spreading my calories out through the day. However, when I work day shifts it's a little harder. I end up eating 2 smaller breakfasts rather than 1 regular sized breakfast because I'm up so early. But all in all, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing if it's going to keep me from going overboard later.

Do you find yourself saving calories throughout the day? What are some of your favorite recipes for dinners under 500 calories?




Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Thunderstorms

While I find thunderstorms unbelievably fascinating, I do not find them enjoyable at 4:30 in the morning what so ever. I definitely could have used every single minute of sleep today. Work is crazy busy right now and with all the regular staff taking holidays (because it's summer, who doesn't want to take holidays!?), the residents are all "off" and require tons more attention and care. The staff also need that much more support, as most of them are casual and don't know the residents like the regular staff does.

I feel so cranky and crabby today. I know it's because I'm basically detoxing off the shitty food I've been eating lately and my body is getting used to the proper number of calories and proper foods. I feel like I'm constantly thinking about food...tracking food, figuring out what I can eat that fits within my calorie budget, thinking "hmmm if you don't eat this now, you can have something else later". It's such a weird way of thinking that is all new to me and it's kinda driving me crazy a little bit. And the situation with my backyard isn't helping either. It's been nearly 3 weeks and NOTHING has been done to repair the damage they did. Chris emailed the contractor twice now in the last week and finally got a response last night basically saying "I knew I shouldn't have trusted my brother with this, call me tomorrow if he hasn't showed up"...well it's tomorrow and he hasn't showed up. I'm getting so frickin irritated because now we HAVE to do some renovations back there, thus cancelling all foreseeable vacations, and we're apparently not a priority. This has affected my life and they don't care enough to do the job on time.

Basically I feel like my life right now is as unsettled as the atmosphere is during a thunderstorm. I feel like I'm always waiting for that bolt of lightening to strike me and shake up my whole world. And it's exhausting!

Yesterday, after getting off a night shift and having a shitty nap, I managed to talk myself into doing my workout on the treadmill like I had promised myself. I felt better than the day before but it still sucked. I also walked up to the college near my house (don't be toooo proud of me, it's really not that far!) because I was scheduled to renew my CPR certification. However, I was the ONLY person who showed up so the instructor said he wouldn't teach the course...but not before he made me sit there for nearly an hour waiting to "see if anybody shows up". I always get this really nauseous feeling following night shifts. I just really don't feel well...which is a great appetite suppressant, but definitely not all that healthy, and seeing as how I was supposed to be doing CPR until at least 9...I didn't really plan much of a dinner. So we ended up going to Subway. I ended up getting my usual, which I know isn't the healthiest it could be, but I didn't think it was all that bad...until I started plugging in the info into the Lose It! App...HOLY SMOKES...I seriously didn't realize that there was that many calories in a damn sandwich. Thank goodness it didn't put my over my calorie budget (I had 47 calories left!).

I know that this post sounds super whiney, and if you stayed reading through to the end, you're a saint. Today may have been a tough day, but who said they'd all be easy? We all know that's not the truth when it comes to weight loss. There are good and bad days, weeks, weigh ins and meals and we all have to learn to take the bad along with the good, realizing that without the bad, we truly wouldn't appreciate the good. I'm really trying to remember this.





Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Counting Calories

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...I HATE COUNTING CALORIES. Yesterday was my first day back to eating right, tracking, and exercising. I logged back into my Lose It! app for the first time in months and logged every single calorie that went past my lips. What a pain to make a salad though. So while I was weighing lettuce and carrots and green onions I decided to just continue and I now have little packs of all the salad ingredients that I put in salads with the calories written on the bag so all I have to do is grab it, throw it on a plate and add up the numbers on the bags! That's a recipe for success right there.

I also did a treadmill workout...back to W1D1 of C25K...again. Holy smokes...I was so out of breath and tired following that workout. I was at the point where I was running for long periods of time and feeling good...now I'm almost dying running for 1 minute...makes me angry that I gave up. I was doing so well. But I will fight back and will get back to where I was, and farther. I really wish I lived in a big city or somewhere that there are a lot of 5K runs. Having a deadline definitely would keep me going. But there is nothing like that where I live...that I've found anyways. I'll definitely keep looking though.

I worked night shift last night, so after getting a little bit of sleep (and I do mean a little bit because I work day shift tomorrow so because I have to sleep tonight, I can't spend all day sleeping today). I always feel a little out of whack on these days, nauseous and craaaaaaaanky. I was using this as an excuse to sit around and do sweet fuck all all damn day long but not anymore. There is absolutely no excuse to not use the treadmill or go for a walk outside...and definitely no excuse to not eat properly and track (I swear the word track is becoming a swear word in my dictionary). So that's what I'm going to do today. That and catch up on some housework, laundry and blog reading.

Have a great day everybody!


Monday, August 6, 2012

Hopping Back On The Train

I did my weigh in on Saturday as I'd promised...and it just wasn't good. I weighed in at 291.8 which would be a gain of 4.9lbs since June 12th and about 10lbs over my lowest. I will be restarting the recording on my weigh in page (seen under the "rewards" tab). I had actually hit the 30 lb lost reward previously...but never did reward myself (hmmm self sabotage much???...I obviously didn't have a lot of faith in myself that I would be able to keep it off) but this time when I re-hit it, I will be rewarding myself.

Yesterday, I spent the day travelling to WA state to get groceries. My freezer and pantry are now PACKED with food, so there is no excuse for not eating properly (I had also stocked my fridge with fruits and veggies the day before). Today I started my day off right by beginning to count my calories. Oh how I loathe counting calories. It's such a pain in the ass. Yes I know it's necessary and I'm going to do it begrudgingly.

The good news is that I now have my most favorite dressing for my salad now so I can predict a LOT of salad in my future hehe.

So that's where I am, I'm just getting back into blogging and catching up on the blogs I read. I've been so pleased to hear that you all have been doing fantastic and have been focused and working hard. Lets just hope that some of your discipline rubs off on me!

I'm off to get on the treadmill then make a salad for lunch. Will update again tomorrow!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Crickets Chirping...

...is the only thing you've been hearing from my corner of the blogosphere lately. I can't even believe how off track I've gotten. Basically I got frustrated after my big gain and gave up on myself. During this time I've gained some of the weight back. But in all honesty, it isn't as much as one would expect. I haven't gone completely off the rails...but I have stopped eating as I should and stopped exercising. And I need to get back on the wagon in the worst way.

I've had a lot of things happen over the last couple months. I've been working 6 days a week, trying so hard to get ahead, to get debts paid off. And it seems that every time I get to a point where I'm able to start putting extra money onto my student loans or my car loan, something goes wrong. I've had to have a break job done on my car which cost nearly $700 and most recently this happened...


Yes...That's an excavator digging up my backyard. I live in a duplex in which the other unit is lower than our house and underneath my yard, when they were putting the retaining wall in, they broke a drainage pipe. This went undetected until this spring/early summer when we had record breaking rainfalls and flash floods in my town. There was just far too much water and it backed up and spilled into my neighbour's house. During one particular storm, my neighbours boyfriend took it upon himself to rip all my drainage gutters out of the storm sewer, causing damage to one of the spouts and causing water to run down our foundation. Luckily I didn't get water in my basement...but needless to say I'm fairly angry at the way they handled the situation and that my property is a construction site and has been for a week now.

We were not planning on landscaping our backyard for another couple years, but now that our backyard is already ripped up and unusable, we are going to do a few projects back there this summer, and finish it next spring...There goes my vacation and all my extra money.

Of course, with all the stress I've been under, I've been making horrible choices. And because I'd already been ignoring my support system (you guys and gals), it was easy to fall back into old habits. Now I'm really ready to get back at it and begin to work hard again. But I need help and support. So I'm back. I'm back and willing to re-commit to my lifestyle change.

I will be weighing in for the first time in a long time on the 4th of August and we'll go from there.

So here we go...Again!

PS - Thanks to all of you who are still here!!!!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

What Doesn't Kill You...

...Makes you want to kill yourself sometimes. I am exhausted. I am loving my new job. The baby I work with is so sweet and we have more easy and good nights than we do bad nights. The thing is the night shifts. I have NEVER been a night person. I have a bedtime and I usually stick to it because I'm falling asleep. I have fairly healthy sleep habits actually. I consistently get 8 hours of sleep a night, but now I've thrown this huge wrench into my system and have been making myself stay up all night. All would be well and good if I could keep my healthy sleep habits in the day time. I get home at 7:30ish am and sleep until 12 or 1 if I'm lucky, then I try to nap in the evening...sometimes I'm successful and get another few hours of sleep...sometimes I'm not and I lay there awake...It's really a crap shoot. And it doesn't help that I've been working 6 days a week for the past month, as that wasn't the deal when I accepted the job. I said I would work 1 shift one week, 2 shifts the next (in addition to my regular 4 days with my other job), but because I'm the only RN there, I have to supervise and sign off the other caregivers to ensure they're able to properly care for the little peanut on their own. So I have 1 more week of working 6 days, then I get a break and only work 5.

Thank goodness this is worth it financially! I'm going to bite the bullet and just do it for as long as I possibly can to pay off those student loans.

So lets get back to what this blog is supposed to be about. Weight loss. I weighed in this week and am pleased to be back down to 285.9 which brings me back down to 30lbs lost (exactly) which is a 1.3lb loss. Not stellar but at least it's a loss, and with how much I've been working, I honestly haven't been exercising at all, and because I'm just figuring this out and figuring out meals and such, eating hasn't been perfect either (but not bad!). I'm sure that once I get into a routine, things will fall back into place. Even though I'm working like a crazy person, I need to put myself first. And once I have time to take a breath, that will happen. Right now I'm focused on surviving! HAHA.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Sometimes Miricles Do Happen

While I was on this little hiatus, I ate what I wanted, did what I wanted and basically didn't give a shit about what I was doing. I expected to have a gain (on top of my massive gain) when I weighed in. However, I'm sitting right at where I was at 287.2. Phew...That makes life a LITTLE bit easier. Now it's time to buckle down. It's spring, finally, in Canada so I can actually go outside without the threat of freezing to death...but the possibility of being caught in a downpour is still very real...good thing I'm not the wicked witch of the west and I won't melt if I get wet!

Work is going great. I have been applying for jobs left right and center these days. I absolutely LOVE my job with my old people. They make me laugh and smile on a daily basis and the people I work with are amazing people...But I just don't make enough money there. They don't even have a full time position for an RN there so I'm stuck working about 30 hours a week only. We'll see what happens. It's not in my hands right now. At least I'm lucky enough to have a job. I know that there are lots of people who aren't as fortunate.

This week, Chris and I finally had some time to spend together. Grandma babysat the kid so we were able to have adult conversation! However, our time off was solely focused on the child...We redecorated her room for her! She is absolutely obsessed with Tinkerbell so...seeing as how she already had a bunch of Tinker stuff...we finished off the room. She has purple walls and a Tinkerbell mural on the wall. She also has some Tinkerbell curtains coming. Spoiled little kid! But let me tell you, I now realize just how much of a workout painting is. My muscles are stiff today and I definitely broke a sweat!

Tonight and tomorrow night I work with the baby and then on Tuesday it's back to work with my old people. I'm definitely living a busy life these days but that is not an excuse for slacking off on the things I should be doing. I owe it to myself to lose this weight. I want to be healthy and be able to do the things I want to do! I'm pretty sure Chris and I will be taking a trip to Vegas in November-December and I really really want to ride both the roller coaster at NYNY and the zipline over Freemont St. I will definitely have to be under 250lbs for that. And of course, riding in the airplane will be much more comfortable than it was at 316lbs! And of course walking around Vegas will be much easier on the body. Time to get to work!





Monday, May 28, 2012

Well...Hello There!

It's been a while! Since you last heard from me I've started my other job as well applied for a different job and am REALLY hoping that I get called for an interview because it would be an AMAZING opportunity. Twice the pay with a lot less hours spent away from home and great benefits...sounds win win...win to me! If I get this job I would working at the college (in collaboration with a university) and becoming a nursing instructor teaching nursing students their skills lab and taking them into clinical. Would definitely be fun. Exciiiiting!

As for my new job, it's taking some adjusting. I haven't had to work many night shifts since I started my career and this new job is all nights. I'm taking care of a medically fragile infant who requires suctioning and tube feeds. However, my nights this week (I did 3!), she was wonderful. She didn't require any suctioning and basically just snuggled with me all night. The hardest part of the job is staying awake all night for sure. Baby's mom sleeps in the same room I work in (at this point she's just not able to let go enough to leave the room to sleep, which is ok) so I can't watch TV or do anything other than stare at the wall or read a book...well at 4am that is very very hard. So far I'm absolutely loving it, it's just going to take some getting used to.

I haven't been watching the scale at all this past little bit. I got really frustrated with that whopping gain a few weeks back. I knew that I had done everything right and that I had worked my tail off (obviously not literally tho!). I was honestly just done. I felt I had worked so very very very hard and to not see any results, and to instead see a major gain that also took away my 30lb lost milestone was soul crushing. I felt like a failure. I felt like that I was just taking the first step to gaining it all back. I felt unattractive. I felt like a loser. I felt like I'd let everybody down, including myself. And that started my little downward spiral. I was just emotionally done at that point. But I'm recommitting to myself and to weight loss. I haven't been eating horribly but I just really haven't cared. If I wanted some chips, I had em where before I would have at least attempted to curb the craving (we all remember the month long longing for Doritos). I will be weighing myself on my first day off this week and I am sooooooo dreading it but at least it'll give me an idea of where I am. I know that I haven't gained like 15lbs back or anything crazy like that because I still fit in my smaller clothes nicely, but I'm definitely not expecting to be at my lowest.

So...there it is...that's what I've been up to lately. Definitely not my proudest moment having to admit this all you you guys. I guess all I can say is I'm sorry if I've let you down, and I understand if you've lost your faith in me. All I can do is try my best and try to accept when my best doesn't get the results I want. And also remember that the only way that I can fail is if I were to give up completely. Thanks to all of you who have followed me and (hopefully) will continue to follow me. You're the best!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Still Here

I'm still here! We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week. Stay tuned!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Dear Future Self

Dear Taryn,

You have worked so hard to get where you are today. You have put in a lot of effort to get yourself healthy. Hours logged working out, endless salads (I swear you felt like a rabbit a lot of the time), weekly weigh ins, highs, lows, measurements, tears and joy. And every single moment was worth it. Yes it was hard, nobody ever said it would be easy, and you never want to go back to where you were before.

Before you began your journey you were happy personally. You had an amazing family, wonderful boyfriend, sweet stepdaughter, awesome job, but you hated yourself. You were constantly self conscious. You hid from photographs. Everything was hard. You could barely go outside and play with your stepdaughter because it would leave you out of breath. You constantly tried to cover up and camouflage your body (as if it's that easy at over 300lbs). You looked at your body in disdain, constantly thinking of what you wanted to fix and how much better you'd feel without the extra 150 lbs weighing you down. But you didn't believe in yourself. You didn't think you were strong enough to change. You chose feeling good in the moment over feeling good long term. But all that did was make you even sadder.

Then you had a wake up call. You realized that if you continued down this road you would end up dead long before you should. You wouldn't ever be able to have a child of your own. You likely would have had a long and very sick final years. And you didn't want that. You seen first hand the fear and pain that it would cause. So you decided to change. And change you did. Now you are much more comfortable in your skin and have come into your own. You are confident and fit. You no longer have a problem getting outside to play and you enjoy having your picture taken. You deserve to feel accomplished. This is a struggle you will deal with your entire life. But remember that feeling you had every time you hit a weight loss milestone, and feel that way every day. Never take life for granted, because not that long ago you weren't living it.

Love,

Yourself (May 12th, 2012)

Friday, May 11, 2012

W2 Done Again

Both yesterday and today I did a C25K workout and have now progressed on to week 3 again. I am totally LOVING how I'm feeling after my workouts these days. I don't dread them anymore and I don't feel exhausted afterwards. Yes I'm sweaty but I'm also energized and really proud of myself. I have also been putting the incline up at 5% when I'm doing my cool down just to engage the glutes and hamstrings and increase the calorie burn.

I also have some big news. A couple posts back, I mentioned taking on another job doing respite care for an infant who is medically fragile, and that taking on this job will allow me to pay off my student loan (or darn close to it!). Well...I GOT THE JOB!!! We're just going over getting me orientated and ready to go on my own. It's night shifts and an extra 1-2 shifts a week will make a huge difference when it comes to paying back my loans. So awesome. I'm aware that this will take a toll on my home life and Chris and I have discussed it and are both willing to make the sacrifice to make our financial future a little bit brighter. I, for one, think it's absolutely ridiculous that to get a good job that I'm passionate about, I had to go so far into debt. When I was in nursing school all you heard about was bitching and whining about the nursing shortage...but because of the deficits they've cut back so much on health care that they can't afford to hire nurses! There are no full time jobs, and I am one of the lucky ones that has a permanent job with guaranteed hours, and have been lucky enough to have a good working relationship with a manager who hired me on casual for 3 sites. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't working like I am now. I know that this is a very real concern for millions of people, but I'm so glad to have a job.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Scale Suprise

After the week I had last week, working out, eating well, you would expect to see a big change on the scale...And I did...But before I reveal the number, lets take a look back at last weeks goals for the RFS challenge:

Weight loss: To be in the 270's - We'll get to that later.
NSV: Blog daily - I got 6 days in a row! Which is pretty darn good I think!
Nutrition: No junk food - I actually ate very well this week, there was 1 meal out which was less than stellar but I more than made up for it with my choices for the rest of the week.
Fitness: Exercise 4 days - Completed. I did 4 days of C25K, walked around the plant nursery, worked my butt off at work

Looking at this I had a fantastic week! I actually stuck to my goals (which almost never happens! haha). I was so impressed with myself for getting back onto the treadmill and starting over with C25K because I was little bitter about it. I was on W6 not long ago and was able to run for 10 minutes straight, but after falling off the program, I was no where near able to do that when I attempted it. But I'm pretty darn determined to get through it one way or another so I will continue to work my way through the program as many times as it takes to get it done.

Alright, enough suspense, lets look back at the weigh in. Last week I weighed in at 282.0 which was only 0.9 lbs away from my lowest weight and 2.1 lbs away from being in the 270s. And as I said I had a fantastic week and saw a big movement on the scale. Nobody would expect that I saw a 5.2 lb movement UP!!! WHAT!? Yep...a 5.2 lb gain. And let me tell you I was devastated. I was feeling GREAT going into weigh in only to be reduced to tears and an incredibly bitchy mood for the rest of the day. Included in that bitchy mood was a "fuck it" mentality. I ate what I wanted, and did what I wanted that day. I didn't eat horribly but I definitely could have made better choices. My poor little family...they did not get the loving, happy Taryn that day...And I've been working through this in my own way. I just really really don't understand how such a drastic gain can happen when I had such a good week. Yes I know that when getting back to exercising a lot when you hadn't been your muscles hang on to water, and yes I know that at certain points in the month women hold on to water like we're storing up for a worldwide drought, but over 5 lbs?! C'mon now. I just needed some time to deal with it, get over it and move on. And today I'm back at it. I will not give up. Not at all.

So what are my goals for this week?

Weight Loss: Lose those 5.2 lbs...plus a little more if possible!
NSV: 5 blog posts
Nutrition: No Junk Food
Exercise: 4 days C25K, 3 walks

Mini Challenge: Write a post to yourself...Watch for this!




Sunday, May 6, 2012

W2D1 Again

After procrastinating for approximately 2 hours, I finally made my way downstairs to the treadmill. I really had no excuse not to. Chris is sleeping after night shift, I had all my workout clothes in the spare bathroom so I wouldn't disturb him while getting changed, there was nothing on TV, and I was bored. I find that setting myself up to have no excuses is the best way to make sure that I actually get what I need to get done done. I did, however, forget to bring my iPod out of the bedroom, but I didn't let that stop me. I quietly creeped in and got it.

This workout, I actually felt stronger than I had in the previous 3 workouts. I dunno what it is but I think the more run-walk intervals, the harder it is...constantly changing speeds is exhausting. Anybody else or is that just me? I'm really feeling like I need to add some strength training to my life, but I'm not sure how to go about that in a way I can afford. I would LOVE to go to a gym and do a circuit, but I just can't afford the membership. Yes I know that there are lots of exercises to do with just your body weight. I just like the feeling of lifting weights, and to see a trainer who can customize a routine for me. I don't want to sound all whiny and have a "poor me" attitude but it does really suck!

Today I work 3-11, and as much as I love my job, I just want to spend some time with my honey. Lately it seems that we're just so darn busy that when we do have down time, we're both so tired that we don't really take the time to enjoy just being together. Bad I know, but with lives as busy as ours, it's definitely hard to not do. This week though I'm definitely making a point to just spend some time with Chris. Life is all about balance right?

Saturday, May 5, 2012

W1 Done...Again!

Today was one of those days that I dragged my ass through the entire workout (well...til the last 7 minutes when "Sexy and I Know It" came onto my iPod...Yes it's cheesy but it got me through the last little bit.

I set my eyes on finishing W1 of C25K and I did. And tomorrow I will start W2. I almost fell on my face though. Because my basement is unfinished there are only like 2 outlets to plug the treadmill in to. So it just so happens that where my treadmill is plugged in is also where Chris keeps all his tools including his air compressor, and I caught my heal on it when I was running, luckily I only caught it a little and was able to catch my balance without killing myself!

2 more days of work and then I'm off...Thank goodness...today was a LONG day. Hope everybody is well and is having a good weekend.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Burn Baby Burn!

...and I'm talking about those calories! Today was one of those days where I felt like I could take on the world. I had an awesome (but busy!) day at work. I was run off my feet but everything went right for a change. I felt like I made a real difference in the lives of a couple of my residents AND their families. And when you have 92 residents under your supervision, it's often easy to be too busy to have the moments that mean so much to them, because literally there are about a MILLION things I can be doing at any time. Also, while I was on my lunch break, I got a phone call in regards to a job that I applied for to supplement my income a tad to perhaps take a little bit of the financial stress off me. I'm going to talk to the lady more in depth on Tuesday. Basically, if I decide to take the job and we're able to work things out so that I can keep my original job as well as add this second one, I will be providing 1 on 1 nursing care to a 4 month infant who is very sick. Chris and I figured out that if I'm able to work a couple extra shifts every week, I can probably pay off my student loan in 1 year. ONE YEAR!

When Chris left for work, I went down to get on the treadmill to get my workout in. And get my workout in I did. I honestly don't think my treadmill has seen that high of a calorie burn in over a month. And I totally felt like I could go longer but I was expecting a phone call from my mother...who consequently texted me and told me she was going to have a nap before calling me...and I wanted to make sure my honey got to work alright (he did). I powered through W1D2 of C25K and felt amazing. I barely had a hint of a side stitch and I recovered well in the walk intervals. I burned over 300 calories in 30 minutes. That felt GREAT.

I also want to share with you some quotes from the email I received today. It's from a woman who has recently stumbled upon my blog and decided to email me. She journals online, but hasn't yet taken the step to blogging (but if you're reading this, I highly encourage blogging, the interaction and support you receive through this community is amazing!!!!). She writes that she's also currently on a weight loss mission and like most of us, feels she has the "tools" and the know how to lose weight, but struggles with the execution. There is so much truth in that statement. We all know HOW to lose weight, it's really not rocket science (more calories out than in, eat less - move more), but if it were that easy, none of us would be overweight. There are so many emotions behind weight and weight loss. It is very hard to get motivated when as an overweight/obese person we're told on a regular basis that we're not good enough. We're not good enough to shop in the same stores as smaller people, we're not "normal" we're "plus sized", there are so many stereotypes.

There are lots of things we, as overweight/obese people, have to think and worry about that never even cross the mind of smaller people. We have to worry about fitting in the booth seat on that first date, the seatbelt in an airplane fitting around us, a busy supermarket is a obstacle course of buggies and people that you will inevitably brush up against while trying to "sneak by" and god forbid there are plastic chairs at the family gathering we're attending. Some people just don't understand that every day has a socially awkward and embarrassing moment in it, even if it's only in our heads.

The email goes on to thank me for "putting myself out there" on my blog, and telling me that I'm inspiring. I often forget that the words I put out on the internet are read by many more people than those that comment on my blog, or even have a blog themselves. It's truly touching to know that by reading through my story, I have inspired somebody to "get their mojo back". I just want to wish this wonderful (and beautiful!!! She sent me a picture) woman good luck on her journey.

Finally, I'm posting the lyrics and a YouTube video of a song that played at the very end of my workout today. It's about a hopeless person (me) who realizes that there are reasons to keep fighting through the dark times. Certainly seems to be something we can all relate to. Enjoy.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Back At 'Er

Yesterday I blogged saying I was super stressed. And I totally was. I was worried that I would turn to old ways of comfort...but I didn't! I, however, didn't go on the treadmill either. When Chris got home, we had dinner then settled onto the couch to watch American Idol (GOOO SKYLAR!!!) and Survivor. I went to bed last night and, try as I might, I just couldn't fall asleep, and when I did, I kept waking up. I kept telling myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation until morning anyways, so why worry and keep myself up all night. I was up bright and early and phoned the people I needed to and got it figured out for now. So, whew!

Today was a new day and now that I was feeling better about everything, I got on the treadmill! I started W1 of C25K again. I felt strong and really think I could probably jump up to W3 but I think I'm just gonna go through the program so I don't get in over my head and get frustrated. Things are looking better than they have in a while, and I feel GREAT!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Distraction...Or Is It Procrastination

Today I have had one of those days where I could find a MILLION other things to do than exercise. So far I have stripped my bed, washed the sheets and remade it, done all the rest of mine and the kids laundry, organized the junk cupboard, typed out and printed all my favorite recipes and organized them in a binder, but to do that I had to go to Walmart and buy page protectors and dividers. It looks great!

That being said, I still have to tidy up and cook dinner for my man. He's been texting me from work and telling me he's starving so I guess I should feed the poor guy after he's spent 12 hours at work!

I'm thinking I will go on the treadmill after dinner. I'm gonna make it happen because I'm feeling super stressed right now. Usually when I'm stressed I bury my face in a bag of Doritos, but I'm not gonna let that happen. I will work out my stress on the treadmill instead. I know that eating my feelings isn't going to solve any problems...and neither will exercise...but at least with the exercise I don't have the guilt of doing something I shouldn't have added on top of my already there stress. Progress? I think so.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

RFS Week 5 Check-In

Why is it that I'm always so stinkin late doing these check ins!? Goodness me. So lets just jump right into it and look at last weeks goals and how I did!

Weight loss: To see my lowest weight again (281.1lbs) - CLOSE! I got back down to 282.0lbs. which put me at a 1.9lb loss this week! Not too shabby especially considering the week I had.
NSV: Post daily - pffft...not even close. There were days where I thought about opening the laptop but just never got around to it.
Nutrition: No junk food - I did pretty good with this. I may have had a jelly bean here and there but really, not much that was processed crap went into me.
Fitness: Be active every day, complete W1 of C25K again - This did not happen. I will get back on the exercise train...I will! I was fairly active around my house and I did do a couple workouts but not daily like I wanted to.

This weeks goals:

Weight Loss: Be in the 270's. I need to lose 2.1lbs to do it. I think I can!
NSV: Blog daily
Nutrition: Let's carry forward the no junk food
Fitness - Exercise 4 days this week

I was just super busy this week, got a lot around the house accomplished but that was really it. And I did end-up catching some sort of bug that took me off work a day early as I was just not feeling well, absolutely exhausted and really miserable. But I'm feeling back to normal now so here's hoping this week goes as planned!



S.A.S.S! Yourself Slim - Book Review

A while back I was asked to review a book by Cynthia Sass MPH, RD, a book that claims you can lose up to 8lbs in the first 5 days.


When I received the book I excitedly delved into it, but unfortunately quickly lost my excitement. I knew within the first 100 pages or so that this just wouldn't be for me. You're talking to a girl who tried weight watchers, low carb-high protein, high carb-low protein, the all junk food diet, soup fasts...you name it. The only success I've actually had (and it's admittedly been slow success) has been to eat less and healthier foods, but not depriving myself of something if I'm really craving it, and to exercise. I really envy people that can be strict with their diet and stick with it even if they're miserable. I just can't...and nobody would want me to because I've been known to become slightly homicidal when I'm miserable and hungry.

The book consists of 2 stages: the optional 5 day fast forward (there's a short "quiz" to determine if it's for you!), and the core plan. I knew there was no way in HELL I could do the 5 day fast forward. The 5 day fast forward consisted of eating 5 ingredients, and nothing but those 5 ingredients, for 5 days. The ingredients you ask? Spinach, raspberries, almonds, eggs and plain yogurt. Cynthia stresses organic is the way to go if your budget allows. Now I absolutely LOVE yogurt and raspberries...However I am really really really not a fan of spinach, eggs quite often make me sick (major upset stomach and...well you get the idea), and I'm pretty sure I have a slight almond allergy. So after having 3 of the 5 ingredients unavailable to me, and knowing there's no way in heck I'd eat tofu again, I was unfortunately unable to partake in the fast forward. This is when I started to lose the wind in my sails when it came to this book...but I pressed on hoping that the core plan would be more "me".

The core plan is much less restrictive than the fast forward and consists of using a 5 piece puzzle consisting of the 5 following groups: produce, whole grain, lean protein, plant based fat, and SASS (the snazzy nickname she gives to the allowed spices and seasonings!). Cynthia also goes through what beverages are allowed on the plan...and let me tell you, pop/soda aint one of em. Which, for me, isn't the hugest deal as I'd done no soda September and carried it on through most of October on my own. Even now I only drink pop every once in a while. However, she asked me to give up my Splenda and coffee creamer...crazy talk! As most of you know, I'm an RN and I start work at 7am...meaning I'm up at the butt crack of dawn because I'm one of those people who needs my time and space to wake up. That being said, my coffee with creamer and Splenda is a necessity...When I'm leaving the house not sure if I've actually remembered to brush my teeth, put on deodorant, or put pants on, I've got my coffee. I understand the premise behind getting rid of all things artificial, I do, and I was willing to give it a shot.

Oh! Did I forget to mention the absolutely MANDATORY chocolate daily? Yeah that caught my attention too! How can a plan that includes chocolate every day be bad? Yes ladies and gents, Cynthia forces you to eat chocolate. I'm saying with true conviction that this would be the best part of my day!

The lovely thing about this book is that Cynthia gives you pages upon pages upon pages of recipes to make the core plan easy for those of us who want it to be simple and uncomplicated. Pick a recipe, buy the groceries, make the food, eat it. Easy peasy right? Well, let's just say that reading through these recipes showed me just how "un-clean" I eat. Yes, I do eat veggies with every meal and eat salad at least 4 times a week, but I had very very few of the ingredients in my house, meaning that I would have to do a major grocery shop. Now I don't mind buying produce, I do every week anyways, but I usually stick with the old standbys that I know my family will eat too. After sitting down and figuring out how much everything would cost, it wasn't feasible for my budget. I graduated university in 2010 and had my 1 year of not having to pay the government or the bank back for paying for my schooling...since then I spend a TON of money just on debt repayment. I'm talking almost $1000 a month! Add onto that a car payment, insurance, mortgage payment, house insurance, life insurance, bills, gas etc etc etc...we absolutely HAVE to stick to a budget when it comes to our groceries. There are no willy nilly trips to the grocery store for this and that, we just can't do it. Now, I'm not going without or starving or anything, I just shop the fliers, buy what's on sale and plan our meals around that. It's life right now and I'm OK with it. I do feel bad, however, that the budget I'm having to live with really made it impossible for me to really give this plan a real go to give it a proper review. 

You don't absolutely HAVE to use the recipes that Cynthia gives you in the book. You are able to create your own meals using the 5 piece puzzle, and there are recipes online too if you do a quick search for her or visit her website, Facebook, or Twitter

So overall, this plan was just not feasible for me, but I would highly recommend it for somebody who has the funds, and does well with strict but simple to follow plans (and has the time to plan, organize, and prepare all the meals). Especially after reading the results that Frances and her hubby-to-be Abel had on their blog Deminishing Doll and Co. AMAZING.

I want to thank TLC book tours and Cynthia Sass for giving me the opportunity to read this book. I will definitely be hanging on to it for when I actually have the means to follow the plan as it needs to be followed. I can say with confidence that if the plan is followed as intended, you will lose weight, learn about healthier eating, discover the emotions behind your eating, how to incorporate exercise into your life, and learn about how to keep proper nutrition in your life permanently. This book is definitely worth a read!

The lovely author herself



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Reality Check, Weigh In, & Check In

I was in need of a big reality check. I've been on this journey for nearly a year and I've lost weight. Over 30lbs. Not all that impressive but still an accomplishment. I was floating along in my happy little bubble thinking that with the weight I have lost that I've become more fit and that becoming slack in my workouts wouldn't be that big of a deal because I wasn't that fit to begin with so there's not too far to slide back. WRONG. Today I decided that I was gonna hit the treadmill for the first time in a while and thought that I should be able to hop back on it at W4D1 of C25K and be ok with that. I mean, it's only 4 minutes of running, I could run for 10 not all that long ago. I couldn't do it. I figure I'm back at about W2...but I'm going to be starting the program over...AGAIN. Christ almighty...You'd think that I'd have learned something by reading blogs and being the author of one. Apparently not. I'm discouraged, frustrated with myself, angry, upset, embarrassed. But if anything this gave me the wake up call I needed.

I have been busy today though. and I plan on keeping that way. Today I was outside most of the morning. I hosed off the driveway, cleaned our front porch, bagged the yard waste that Chris raked up the other day, cleaned up the yard a little more (getting rid of the doggy poops), raked along side the house (the side of the house is lined with rocks and there were tons of leaves in there), weeded along the side of the house, bagged all  that yard waste, and cleaned off the back porch. Following that was my C25K disaster...which wasn't as horrible as a disaster as I'm making it out to be...I didn't quit, but I did walk the last 2 run intervals, and still burned over 250 calories. Finally, following this post I will begin the house clean that I usually do on my last day off. So all in all a pretty active, productive day.

On to my RFS Week #4 Check in.

Weight: To weigh in and see where I'm at: After 2 weeks of being completely off track I gained 2.8lbs...Could have been worse...trust me. Current weight is: 283.9lbs.
NSV: Start spring cleaning - Success!
Nutrition: Get back on track - Working on it!
Fitness: 2 workouts...Success!

Week #5 Goals:

Weight Loss: Get back down to my low of 281.1lbs
NSV: Post daily. When I'm posting, I'm on track.
Nutrition: NO JUNK FOOD! This is a huge challenge for me especially when I have to take food to work.
Fitness: Complete W1 of C25K and walk Harley on "off" days. Be active EVERY day. This is challenging for me because when I'm working evenings, Chris is working nights and is sleeping so I feel bad about doing ANYTHING that might wake him up. Hmm excuse much? Also on my first day off, it's my only day with my family so I want to spend my time with them rather than take time away to exercise. But...I need to do this.

Mini-Challenge: Pay it forward. I need to figure out how to do this when I spend my time either at home or at work...I'm such a homebody that my interaction with people is limited. I spend all day at work with people and families so when I'm not at work I just want to be left alone.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Cobwebs...

I feel like I need to dust the cobwebs off this blog before I can post again! Holy smokes it's been a while since I last posted. I have been so incredibly busy...and as a result I didn't have much time to sit down and read/write blogs. So I guess I'm officially behind on the RFS challenge. Oops. We'll get back to that in a minute. First I want to update you all on what I've been up to. 


Well I've done everything except what I should have been doing this last week or so. I haven't exercised, my meals weren't planned out and have been on the not so healthy side, I haven't even weighed myself. I'm sure there's going to be a gain come weigh day on Sunday. But, if nothing else this journey is a roller coaster, with ups and downs (quite literally!). The trick is to not get off the ride. And I'm not! So...what HAVE I done? Well my 4 days off last week looked a little like this:


Saturday: Make the trip to my parents house (2 hours because of the ferry we had to take) for dinner and back home, getting home at about 8:30 that night


Sunday: Driving an hour to my MIL's to drop off the child, then making the 3 hour trip (because of the stopping to let the dog out to pee) to Cranbrook to look at vehicles and to do some clothes shopping. I had decided enough was enough and my pants falling off of me was not cool anymore. So I bought 2 pairs of jeans...size 22!...and a pair of capris in hopes that spring is finally here. We did some more looking around then turned in to our hotel for the night to watch the hockey game. 


Monday: Vehicle shopping. Chris needs a new car as his is getting high in mileage and he commutes to work. We're not buying one today, but in the next few months. Test drives, sales pitches, etc. Then the drive back home.


Tuesday: Was not a good day for Harley...AT ALL. Poor guy got neutered. So we had to drop him off at the vet at 8am. Then we drove the 45 minutes to the next town to test drive more cars while Harley was in surgery. Then we drove home in time to pick my poor little man up from the vet. He was so sore. He didn't move from his bed. He also didn't want to eat or drink...or even pee which had me a little worried. Finally I got him to drink, but he still didn't want to pee (I assume he was scared it would hurt) until he couldn't help it and he had an accident in the house. Then he was scared we were mad at him so he was cowering in the corner. He continued to whimper and whine and cry ALL night long. I think he finally fell asleep at about 4:30 in the morning...and I got up at 5:15 for work.


Wednesday was back to work and it was the most AWFUL day I'd had there in a very long time. I was so extremely busy, people before me hadn't done their jobs and left me with a complete and utter shit storm to deal with. Add that to the fact that I was exhausted, very bitchy, and just not wanting to deal with anything. I came home and was in bed by 8:30...Yes I'm cool.


Thursday was a much better day. Things went smoothly at work but I was still pretty tired from my crazy week. So I took it easy and just chilled out after work.


Today my plan is to get this blog caught up, catch up on blogs, resume healthy eating and get through work without wanting to scream.


On to my RFS check in for week 3. Last weeks goals:


Weight Loss: What the hell, let's shoot for 2lbs again! - FAIL. I didn't even weigh.
NSV: Date night with Chris - Done! We spent a nice evening together when we were out of town.
Nutrition: Employ the 25-25-50 rule (25% protein, 25% starch, 50% veggies) to meals - HAHAHA...Let's just leave it at that.
Fitness: Walk x 5 outside (weather permitting), C25K x 2 (plus any times I don't get outside due to the weather) - FAIL. I think I went on 3 walks with Harley.



Mini-Challenge: Visit all other challengers blogs - FAIL. I sooo didn't have time for that. Sorry all!


Week 4 Goals:


Weight Loss: Actually weigh and see where I'm at. Hopefully I don't have too much of a gain.
NSV: Start spring cleaning! 
Nutrition: Get back on track. Make smart choices this week (or few days until the check in!)
Fitness: 2 walks/C25K


Mini-Challenge: Pay it forward...hmmmm...I'll get back to you on that one.


So there you have it. I'm still here! I may have fallen face first off my healthy living plan but I've picked myself up, dusted myself off, and am chasing after the wagon (Woo! Cardio!) Stay tuned!


I leave you with a few pictures of Harley post-surgery.


He stayed there for HOURS...Poor guy


Feeling a bit better!




























Sunday, April 8, 2012

RFS Week 2 Check-In

Well here's to another week come and gone. And what a week it was!!! Let's look back at my goals for last week:

Weight Loss: Let's go for 2lbs this week! - DONE!!! Actually I lost 2.2lbs leaving me at 281.1lbs! My lowest weight in...a very long time. I'm smaller than I was when Chris and I met.

NSV: Get this mess of a house cleaned! - DONE!!! I actually did this last weekend and so far my house has remained fairly clean. I even went through the kids bedroom and cleaned and organized her drawers and closet. If you read my last post you will know that I plan on downsizing her to 1 bedroom shortly.

Nutrition: TRACK!! (even though I haaaaate it) and have mostly veggies at Easter dinner on Friday. - FAIL...I did not track, not one single day. However, I know I pretty much stayed within my calorie limits every day except Easter...I tried so hard but my MIL is an awesome cook so....

Fitness: 3 days of C25K and 2 walks with Harley - FAIL...I only walked twice with Harley. No C25K at all. But the walks were lovely. Today I even did it in capris and flip-flops. I also cleaned my car and cleared most of the snow from our backyard so we can get the yard cleaned up next weekend :) I also managed to twist my ankle yesterday when Chris and I were doing our recycling/garbage. It's not bad, so hopefully just taking it easy will take care of it.


My mini-challenge was to mix it up with an exercise I don't usually do, and I wanted to start walking outside again. Which I did.


Here are the goals for next week!


Weight Loss: What the hell, let's shoot for 2lbs again!
NSV: Date night with Chris
Nutrition: Employ the 25-25-50 rule (25% protein, 25% starch, 50% veggies) to meals
Fitness: Walk x 5 outside (weather permitting), C25K x 2 (plus any times I don't get outside due to the weather)


I'm so excited to see what our mini challenge is going to be this week! 


Harley is going to the vet next Tuesday to be neutered. Poor little guy. They also have to pull one baby tooth because the "adult" tooth grew in right next to it and didn't push the baby one out...and they're so close that I actually have to catch him and floss between his teeth every night...he does not care for that. My poor little boy...I feel bad but I also don't want his green hippo toy to continue to be violated on a daily basis. Wish him luck!


Also, Kristin is hosting a giveaway. Luna bars are something I've heard a lot about and I would love to try them! But I'm unbelievably cheap so getting to try them before I buy them would be awesome! So don't forget to head over and enter her giveaway!!! 

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Weigh in # 31

Weigh in was actually yesterday but of course it was a busy day with Easter egg dying and then of course dinner at my in laws, so I didn't get around to posting it until now. I had a WONDERFUL week this week and knocked out a 2.2lb loss!!! YAY. Hello lowest weight in a very long time! I will be posting much more tomorrow with my RFS check in so look for that.

Today was a suuuuuper busy day for Chris and I. We got up at 6:30 (yes...AM on a Saturday!) because the Easter Bunny made an early stop at our house for the child. The only reason we got up that early was because she had to be back to her mother by 9 to do an Easter egg hunt there and her mother lives an hour away. Lets just say there's enough chocolate in my house to ensure that Hershey's, Cadbury AND Nestle don't have to worry about going bankrupt any time soon. Spoiled rotten little monster! Once Chris got home from taking her back we got rid of all our garbage and recycling (we somehow collect boxes and have to take them down every once in a while along with our regular household recycling...and we have been taking our garbage down ourselves because along with paying for garbage yearly (along with sewer and water), we have to buy garbage tags at $1.50/bag a pop...RIDICULOUS!! We have been saving about 2/3 of the cost by taking it ourselves. Take that City of Nelson! However, now that spring is here and the bears will be waking up I'm going to be resigned to using garbage tags again until the fall. BOO.

After that I cleaned out the child's room and hung up all her new clothes (from Easter and the HUGE bag my mother got from her friend who also has a little girl about my stepdaughter's age), tidied up her closet, organized and sorted everything. I plan on forcing her back into 1 room. I think it's ridiculous that a 3 year old has 2 bedrooms full of stuff...but I must think of a solution to this because she plays with it all...I just want it all in 1 room. I might end up buying shelving to put in her closet to put all her toys in...we shall see, but I definitely want to reclaim my spare bedroom. Any suggestions?!

Anyways, I'm certain you don't want to relive my entire day along with me so I will end it here. Check back tomorrow for my check in!



Sunday, April 1, 2012

RFS Week 1

Week 1 was...alright. I did well when I was feeling ok! But since Friday I have been feeling like something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe with a stick. So lets look at the goals from last week shall we?

Weight Loss: 2lbs please and hank you! - Well I lost 1.1...which isn't too bad for being sidelined for half the week. Current weight 283.3lbs.

NSV: Pick up and try on my new, 3 sizes smaller jeans (eeee!)...I've been avoiding picking them up because I'm terrified they won't fit - So I did pick them up...Well Chris did...and let me just say...these were a few sizes more than 3 sizes smaller...I was wearing 26s that were so big I could pull them off EASILY without unbuttoning or unzipping them. the 20s I ordered would not even go over my hips...Soooo depressing and sad. But at least I have some jeans to slim down into...but I now still have no pants!

Nutrition: Remain under 1700 Calories all week - I tracked for 3 days and was under, didn't track for the next 2 but was for sure under, the last 2 I haven't tracked at all and because of my massive headache, have been eating whatever was easy.

Fitness: Redo Week 5 of C25K AND attempt to take Harley for a walk...He's still a baby and can't control his sniffer so a walk might take about 6 and a half years - I did W5 D1&2 but that was it.

As for the mini challenge...I tried broccolini! It's a cross between broccoli and asparagus and it is soooo yummy...I parboiled it, then tossed it in garlic oil (made with EVOO), salt, pepper and lemon juice in a saute pan. Turned out pretty good!

So all in all....I did ok but there is definitely room for improvement.

On to week 2! Here are the goals

Weight Loss: Let's go for 2lbs this week!
NSV: Get this mess of a house cleaned!
Nutrition: TRACK!! (even though I haaaaate it) and have mostly veggies at Easter dinner on Friday.
Fitness: 3 days of C25K and 2 walks with Harley

The Mini Challenge: An exercise that I don't normally do: Ever since I started the C25K program (and it's been winter) I haven't gone for a walk outside...so taking Harley for a walk will be what I will do.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Ahhh

I feel good today. I did have a fairly shitty day at work. At 7:15 this morning I walked into one unit and heard a resident screaming "no, stop it, I said no!" and when I turned the corner, one of the care aides was trying to pull this woman into the tub room for a bath (said care aide is also the same one who was in the local paper a few weeks ago saying that if you don't try to force a dementia patient to do things they don't want to do, they're far less aggressive). I was actually hoping that my resident would hit her with her walker! I was so mad! She even had the balls to ask me to help her get her in the tub! I told her to back off and let her calm down, which of course worked. Anyways, that just set my mood for my work day. I was NOT happy. It was also a busy day. But once I got home my mood changed.

I got to hang out with Chris for a little while, watched Amazing Race, had to say goodbye to Chris cuz he's working night shift tonight, then went onto the treadmill and did W5D1 of C25K. I also tracked my food today and came in at 1646 calories and I burned 311 calories working out :) YAY!

I really want to get a watch pedometer similar to this so I can monitor how many steps I take in a day. That one also records calories burned throughout the day and monitors heart rate as well...fancy schmancy...And I'd get to see how much walking I really do in a day.

One day down, 6 to go in week 1 of this challenge :) I leave you with a cute picture of my little man. He just had his hair cut the day this was taken.

Even has the "am I not the cutest?" head tilt down!