I feel so cranky and crabby today. I know it's because I'm basically detoxing off the shitty food I've been eating lately and my body is getting used to the proper number of calories and proper foods. I feel like I'm constantly thinking about food...tracking food, figuring out what I can eat that fits within my calorie budget, thinking "hmmm if you don't eat this now, you can have something else later". It's such a weird way of thinking that is all new to me and it's kinda driving me crazy a little bit. And the situation with my backyard isn't helping either. It's been nearly 3 weeks and NOTHING has been done to repair the damage they did. Chris emailed the contractor twice now in the last week and finally got a response last night basically saying "I knew I shouldn't have trusted my brother with this, call me tomorrow if he hasn't showed up"...well it's tomorrow and he hasn't showed up. I'm getting so frickin irritated because now we HAVE to do some renovations back there, thus cancelling all foreseeable vacations, and we're apparently not a priority. This has affected my life and they don't care enough to do the job on time.
Basically I feel like my life right now is as unsettled as the atmosphere is during a thunderstorm. I feel like I'm always waiting for that bolt of lightening to strike me and shake up my whole world. And it's exhausting!
Yesterday, after getting off a night shift and having a shitty nap, I managed to talk myself into doing my workout on the treadmill like I had promised myself. I felt better than the day before but it still sucked. I also walked up to the college near my house (don't be toooo proud of me, it's really not that far!) because I was scheduled to renew my CPR certification. However, I was the ONLY person who showed up so the instructor said he wouldn't teach the course...but not before he made me sit there for nearly an hour waiting to "see if anybody shows up". I always get this really nauseous feeling following night shifts. I just really don't feel well...which is a great appetite suppressant, but definitely not all that healthy, and seeing as how I was supposed to be doing CPR until at least 9...I didn't really plan much of a dinner. So we ended up going to Subway. I ended up getting my usual, which I know isn't the healthiest it could be, but I didn't think it was all that bad...until I started plugging in the info into the Lose It! App...HOLY SMOKES...I seriously didn't realize that there was that many calories in a damn sandwich. Thank goodness it didn't put my over my calorie budget (I had 47 calories left!).
I know that this post sounds super whiney, and if you stayed reading through to the end, you're a saint. Today may have been a tough day, but who said they'd all be easy? We all know that's not the truth when it comes to weight loss. There are good and bad days, weeks, weigh ins and meals and we all have to learn to take the bad along with the good, realizing that without the bad, we truly wouldn't appreciate the good. I'm really trying to remember this.